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August 1, 2024 • 46min
Life Lessons From a Hospice Doctor: You Have It Completely Backwards
The Mel Robbins Podcast
In this profound episode, Mel Robbins interviews Dr. Zach Bush, a triple board-certified physician specializing in hospice care, internal medicine and endocrinology. Dr. Bush shares deep insights from his extensive experience working with people near death, being with them during the dying process, and his own powerful near death experience. He offers a radical reframing of death and dying, presenting it as an opportunity to reconnect with our inherent wholeness and divinity.
Life Lessons From a Hospice Doctor: You Have It Completely Backwards
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Key Takeaways
- Near death experiences provide a glimpse of our true wholeness and connection - They allow us to feel what it's like to be complete, beyond our limited human perceptions
- We are born whole and die whole - Our sense of incompleteness in between is an illusion
- Moments of awe, connection and presence in daily life are like mini "near death experiences" - They remind us of our inherent wholeness
- Fear of death often stems from feeling incomplete or unfulfilled in life - Doing inner work and living authentically can reduce this fear
- The #1 regret of the dying is not having lived as their authentic selves - Many realize too late they were always whole and didn't need to perform
- We can access wholeness through nature, breath work, and letting ourselves be seen - These practices remind us of our inherent completeness
- Relationships struggle when we expect others to complete us - True wholeness comes from within, not from another person
- Death is actually a rebirth into a new state of being - Like birth, we can't fully comprehend what's on the other side
Introduction
In this profound episode, Mel Robbins interviews Dr. Zach Bush, a triple board-certified physician specializing in hospice care, internal medicine and endocrinology. Dr. Bush shares deep insights from his extensive experience working with people near death, being with them during the dying process, and his own powerful near death experience. He offers a radical reframing of death and dying, presenting it as an opportunity to reconnect with our inherent wholeness and divinity.
Topics Discussed
Dr. Zach Bush's Near Death Experience (6:24)
Dr. Bush recounts a profound near death experience he had in 2010 that changed the trajectory of his life and career:
- He was driving to the hospital in a snowstorm when he passed out at the wheel
- His car went off the road, down an embankment, and ended up in a river
- When he regained consciousness, he felt an overwhelming sense of peace, wholeness and connection
- "I experienced for a moment what I'd seen my patients do, which is experienced myself. Felt myself for the first time as an adult or as a young child."
- This experience led him to leave academia and pursue a new path in holistic medicine and hospice care
The Nature of Near Death Experiences (24:04)
Dr. Bush reframes near death experiences as moments of reconnecting with our inherent wholeness:
- We are born whole and complete, but develop a sense of incompleteness as we grow up
- Near death experiences allow us to feel what it's like to be whole again
- We can have mini "near death experiences" in daily life through moments of awe and connection
- "You are the most beautiful thing. You are the entire divine expression of your soul."
Fear of Death and Incompleteness (32:31)
Dr. Bush explains why many people fear death:
- Fear often stems from feeling incomplete or unfulfilled in life
- We cling to rituals and behaviors out of fear we're incomplete
- Doing inner work and living authentically can reduce fear of death
- "There's great terror in the end of something, because to die incomplete suggests that there's a brokenness that didn't heal."
Regrets of the Dying (47:08)
Dr. Bush shares the most common regret he's witnessed in his hospice work:
- The #1 regret is not having lived as one's authentic self
- Many realize they were "performing" their whole life instead of being themselves
- People often recognize their inherent wholeness and beauty only at the end
- "If I'd just known I was whole the whole time, and it hadn't had to do all the performance, and had been able to taste the cup of coffee for what it really is, instead of perceive it for everything that it's not."
Relationships and Wholeness (47:49)
Dr. Bush discusses how seeking wholeness from others leads to relationship dysfunction:
- We often look to romantic partners to complete us or make us feel whole
- No other person can truly see or complete us - only we can do that for ourselves
- True wholeness comes from within, not from another person
- "The deep dysfunction of relationship that we have on the planet right now is we are trying to find somebody else that will make us feel good about ourselves."
Connecting with Wholeness in Nature (47:49)
Dr. Bush offers a powerful practice for reconnecting with our inherent wholeness:
- Go out in nature and lie under a tree
- First, observe and appreciate the beauty around you
- Then, allow yourself to be seen and held by nature
- Nature can see us as whole in a way other humans cannot
- "You can only be seen by a tree as the whole you. Because it doesn't have eyes that will convince it that you're everything that you're not."
Reframing Death as Rebirth (44:46)
Dr. Bush offers a profound reframing of death:
- Death is actually a rebirth into a new state of being
- It's like twins in the womb - one is born first and seems to disappear
- But they are actually being born into a beautiful new world
- We are all like twins in the womb, watching others be "reborn" through death
- "We are all twins in a womb right now, watching each other pass down a birth canal. We call it death, and we think it's horrible because we have human mind, but it's always a rebirth."
Practices for Accessing Wholeness (44:02)
Dr. Bush recommends several practices for reconnecting with our inherent wholeness:
- Breath work
- Cold plunges
- Spending time in nature
- Chanting, dancing, storytelling around a fire
- These practices can induce mini "near death experiences" that remind us of our wholeness
Conclusion
Dr. Zach Bush offers a radical and hopeful reframing of death, dying and human wholeness. By recognizing that we are born whole, die whole, and are whole throughout our lives, we can release the fear and performance that often dominate our existence. Through practices like spending time in nature, breath work, and allowing ourselves to be truly seen, we can reconnect with our inherent completeness. This shift in perspective has the power to transform how we live our lives, relate to others, and approach our own mortality. As Dr. Bush says in his parting words:
"I hope that one of you falls deeply in love with your state as a being that is whole at every step of life. And as soon as you do, we will all follow you into a very beautiful reality."