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July 18, 2024 • 45min
How To Make Your Life Exciting Again
The Mel Robbins Podcast
In this episode, Mel Robbins interviews Dr. Tali Sharot, a behavioral neuroscientist and professor at University College London and MIT. They discuss Dr. Sharot's research on habituation - the brain's tendency to respond less to constant stimuli over time - and how this affects happiness and enjoyment in relationships, work, and life. Dr. Sharot shares insights on how to counteract habituation through novelty, change, and variety to reignite excitement and meaning.
How To Make Your Life Exciting Again
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Key Takeaways
- Habituation is the brain's tendency to respond less and less to things that are constant or change very gradually. This affects our enjoyment of relationships, work, and life in general over time.
- Novelty and change are key to reigniting happiness and excitement in life. Our brains are wired to notice and react strongly to new experiences.
- Taking breaks and introducing variety into your routine can help "re-sparkle" aspects of your life you've become habituated to.
- Happiness tends to follow a U-shaped curve over the lifespan, with a dip in midlife often due to lack of novelty and change during those years.
- Anticipation of future events and experiences is a powerful source of happiness. Having things to look forward to boosts wellbeing.
- Experimenting with new activities, skills, and experiences is recommended as a way to inject more novelty and joy into your life.
Introduction
In this episode, Mel Robbins interviews Dr. Tali Sharot, a behavioral neuroscientist and professor at University College London and MIT. They discuss Dr. Sharot's research on habituation - the brain's tendency to respond less to constant stimuli over time - and how this affects happiness and enjoyment in relationships, work, and life. Dr. Sharot shares insights on how to counteract habituation through novelty, change, and variety to reignite excitement and meaning.
Topics Discussed
Understanding Habituation (11:13)
Dr. Sharot explains that habituation is a fundamental process governing how our brains work. It's our tendency to respond less and less to things that are constant or change very gradually.
- Examples include getting used to smells, temperatures, or even positive aspects of our lives like relationships or homes
- Habituation happens at a neurological level - neurons literally stop firing in response to constant stimuli
- This affects both positive and negative aspects of life - we get used to good things but also bad things
"You could have a wonderful, comfortable home, which when you first bought it, you were so excited and you really noticed everything. But now you're there every day, so it doesn't elicit as much of a reaction." - Dr. Tali Sharot
Impact on Happiness (14:38)
Dr. Sharot discusses how habituation impacts our happiness and wellbeing:
- Good things in our lives create less happiness on a daily basis as we get used to them
- We also habituate to negative experiences, which can be beneficial for moving on from pain
- However, habituation to negative aspects of life can reduce motivation to make positive changes
The Brain's Response to Novelty (16:03)
Our brains are wired to respond strongly to new experiences and information:
- The brain prioritizes processing new stimuli as they may require a response
- This explains why novel experiences feel more exciting and memorable
- Research on vacations shows people are happiest in the first few days before habituation sets in
"Our brain, you can think about it as a front page of a newspaper. It cares about what's new, what just happened. It doesn't really care that much about the old." - Dr. Tali Sharot
Applying Vacation Research to Daily Life (20:59)
Dr. Sharot explains how we can apply insights from vacation research to improve our daily lives:
- Have more frequent, shorter vacations to experience more "peaks" of happiness
- Leverage anticipation by planning events to look forward to
- Take breaks from your normal routine to "dis-habituate" and see things with fresh eyes
Implications for Relationships (24:51)
The discussion turns to how habituation affects long-term relationships:
- Partners may seem less exciting over time due to habituation, not a loss of love
- Research shows people are most attracted to partners after time apart or in novel situations
- Taking breaks or experiencing new things together can reignite attraction
Balancing Change and Stability (28:33)
Mel and Dr. Sharot discuss the challenge of balancing novelty-seeking with appreciation for what you have:
- Habituation can make us dissatisfied with perfectly good aspects of our lives
- Constantly chasing newness isn't sustainable or always beneficial
- The goal is finding ways to appreciate what you have while still introducing healthy novelty
Practical Ways to "Re-Sparkle" Your Life (34:00)
Dr. Sharot offers suggestions for counteracting habituation in everyday life:
- Take breaks from your normal routine when possible
- Practice gratitude by imagining your life without things you value
- Introduce variety in small ways like changing your commute route
- Learn new skills or take up new hobbies
- Interact with different types of people than you normally would
The U-Shape of Happiness (38:25)
Dr. Sharot explains research showing happiness tends to follow a U-shaped curve over the lifespan:
- Happiness is high in youth, dips in midlife, then rises again in later years
- Midlife often involves the least amount of change and novelty
- Later life can bring renewed change and learning as circumstances shift
Keeping Teams Motivated at Work (40:54)
The discussion turns to how companies can keep employees engaged despite habituation:
- Rotate people through different divisions or projects
- Change work environments occasionally to boost creativity
- Even small environmental changes can spark new ideas and perspectives
"If you change your environment, and it could be even really small changes, like, I'm working in my office and now I'm going to work in a coffee shop, or I'm going to walk and maybe have a meeting while walking, it turns out that that enhances creativity." - Dr. Tali Sharot
One Key Action to Take (44:43)
When asked for one action listeners should take, Dr. Sharot recommends:
- Try something new - a new skill, activity, or experience
- This creates joy through novelty and may spark a habit of seeking new experiences
Experiments in Living (46:04)
Dr. Sharot concludes with a call for "experiments in living":
- Try new ways of doing things to discover what truly works for you
- This could involve adding new activities or removing things from your routine
- Approaching life as an experiment allows you to optimize for your own happiness and growth
Conclusion
This episode provides valuable insights into the neuroscience of habituation and its effects on our happiness and enjoyment of life. Dr. Sharot's research highlights the importance of novelty, change, and variety in maintaining excitement and meaning in our relationships, work, and daily experiences. By understanding habituation and taking intentional steps to counteract it - through breaks, new experiences, and "experiments in living" - we can reignite joy and appreciation for the good things in our lives. The key takeaway is to approach life with curiosity and openness to change, continually seeking ways to see our world through fresh eyes.