July 25, 2024 • 1hr 25min
How to Create a New Version of Yourself: Let Go of Past Mistakes & Overcome Regret
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Key Takeaways
- Open your "cupboard" and embrace all aspects of yourself, including past mistakes and pain. Use these as ingredients to create something meaningful.
- Let your dreams and aspirations "live outside of you" by voicing them. This creates space for growth and transformation.
- Power is a combination of authenticity, resilience, and humility. It's not about authority, but about energy flowing through you.
- Confidence comes from accepting both your strengths and flaws, and not being swayed by either success or failure.
- Rest and self-care are crucial for being your best self and allowing your power to flow.
- There are multiple versions of yourself waiting to be revealed. Embrace change and growth.
- Your past experiences, even painful ones, can become your greatest assets in helping others and fulfilling your purpose.
Introduction
In this deeply inspiring episode, Mel Robbins interviews Sarah Jakes Roberts, a world-renowned speaker, pastor, and New York Times bestselling author. Sarah shares her incredible journey from being a pregnant teenager to becoming a powerful voice for women and faith. The conversation explores themes of self-acceptance, personal power, and the courage to embrace one's authentic self.
Topics Discussed
Embracing Your Past and Present Self (06:59)
Sarah opens up about getting pregnant at 13 and the shame and isolation she felt, especially as the daughter of a prominent pastor. She describes spending about 10 years trying to fit in and find herself:
- Tried on different identities, comparing herself to others
- Eventually realized she needed to embrace who she truly was
- Developed an intimate relationship with God that led to healing
"I had to sit with myself until I no longer cringed. I had to sit with myself until I no longer felt shame. I had to sit with myself until I could experience compassion where I once felt guilt."
The Power of Self-Compassion (12:22)
Sarah emphasizes the importance of approaching oneself with compassion rather than punishment:
- You can't heal while still punishing yourself
- Self-punishment keeps you stuck in the past
- Embrace all aspects of yourself - past mistakes and current achievements
"You cannot heal while you are still punishing yourself."
The Danger of Self-Discounting (21:36)
Sarah discusses how people often discount their own value due to past experiences:
- Accepting less than you deserve because you feel unworthy
- Realizing your experiences add to your value, not decrease it
- The importance of seeing your own worth before others can
"Your value is an inside job. It is a commitment that says, you know what, the truth of who I am, my ability to survive, all that I've gone through, the way that I have seen the world, has added to my value, not decreased it."
Making a Meal Out of Life's Leftovers (25:35)
Sarah introduces the metaphor of using all the ingredients in your "cupboard" to create something meaningful:
- Don't try to reinvent yourself by ignoring your past
- Use all aspects of your experience to create an authentic life
- Embrace your truth and build from there
"You can't reinvent who you are using ingredients that don't exist. You've got to use all of the ingredients."
The Importance of Rest and Self-Care (53:49)
Sarah emphasizes the crucial role of rest in maintaining personal power:
- Recognize when you're overextended and need a break
- Rest allows you to show up as your best self
- Sometimes changing expectations and precedents is necessary
"I have to rest. When I am not resting, I am running on fumes. And when I'm running on fumes, I don't always make the best choices."
Understanding Personal Power (1:12:07)
Sarah redefines power as a combination of authenticity, resilience, and humility:
- Power is not just about strength or authority
- It's about being true to yourself in all situations
- Humility is an essential component of true power
"Power is authenticity, resiliency, humility. Combined, it is a combination. If there were, like, a nutritional fact that breaks down what power is, it is 100% authenticity, 100% resiliency, and 100% humility."
Building Confidence (1:15:14)
Sarah shares her perspective on confidence:
- Confidence is about accepting both your strengths and flaws
- It's not easily swayed by success or failure
- True confidence comes from within, not external factors
"Confidence is the intentional owning of your existence and identity and the acceptance of it, the contentment of all of who you are and not allowing it to be easily moved or swayed by success nor failure."
Letting Your Dreams Live Outside of You (1:06:43)
Sarah introduces a powerful concept about giving voice to your aspirations:
- Speak your dreams and goals into existence
- Voicing aspirations creates space for growth
- It allows others to support your journey
"Let it live outside of you if you let me talk, I'll get it'go oh, my God. Let it. Because, okay, you listen to the podcast, you read the books, and it's all living inside of you. You got the tools, you got the inspiration. You've gotta let this live outside of you."
Embracing Different Versions of Yourself (1:10:21)
Sarah discusses the concept of multiple versions of oneself:
- Recognize that you're no longer the person who made past mistakes
- Be open to discovering new aspects of yourself
- Allow yourself to evolve and grow
"There are versions of you waiting to be revealed to you, introduced to you, and released into the world, and you just have to dare to not get caught up in an old version or this present version and recognize that the unfolding of that is not like this deep hard work."
Finding Purpose in Past Pain (1:23:52)
Mel and Sarah discuss how past struggles can become a source of strength and purpose:
- Sarah's experience as a teen mom allowed her to disrupt harmful cultural narratives
- Past pain can become a tool for helping others
- Embracing your whole story can lead to a greater impact
"You had to have that happen for you to disrupt that culture and for you to be the embodiment of an entirely different definition of a godly woman."
Conclusion
This powerful conversation between Mel Robbins and Sarah Jakes Roberts offers a transformative perspective on personal growth, self-acceptance, and embracing one's authentic power. Sarah's journey from a struggling teen mom to a influential leader serves as an inspiring example of how past pain and mistakes can become the foundation for a purposeful and impactful life.
The key message is to embrace all aspects of yourself - your past, your present, and your potential future selves. By opening up your "cupboard" and using all the ingredients of your life experiences, you can create something meaningful and powerful. The episode encourages listeners to let their dreams and aspirations "live outside of them" by voicing them, creating space for growth and transformation.
Sarah's redefinition of power as a combination of authenticity, resilience, and humility offers a fresh perspective on personal strength. The importance of rest and self-care is emphasized as crucial for maintaining this power and showing up as your best self.
Ultimately, this episode is a call to action for listeners to dare to believe in themselves, to embrace their whole story, and to use their unique experiences as a force for good in the world. It's an invitation to see past struggles not as limitations, but as the very things that can make you relatable, powerful, and capable of making a significant impact.