November 11, 2024 • 1hr 3min
3 Truths You Need to Hear: The Best Expert Advice to Unlock Your Potential
The Mel Robbins Podcast
Key Takeaways
- Three major lies we tell ourselves that hold us back:
- Lie #1: "I'm failing at life" - The truth is you're on your way and everything is preparing you for what's next
- Lie #2: "I'm not motivated/I'm lazy" - The truth is you have plenty of motivation, you just need to understand your brain's circuitry
- Lie #3: "I can't change" - The truth is you're designed to grow and change until the day you die
- Your thoughts shape your reality through a clear progression:
- What you think becomes what you say
- What you say becomes what you do
- What you do becomes who you become
- Understanding motivation and dopamine:
- You wake up with a full tank of dopamine/motivation each morning
- Social media and technology give a "hard squeeze" that depletes dopamine quickly
- Wait an hour after waking before using technology to preserve motivation
Introduction
This episode focuses on three common lies people tell themselves that limit their potential and keep them stuck in negative patterns. Mel Robbins, along with expert guests including Dr. James Doty, Steven Bartlett, Dr. Alok Kanojia, and Sarah Jakes Roberts, breaks down these lies and provides the empowering truths needed to overcome them.
Topics Discussed
The Power of Thoughts and Words (0:00)
Mel opens by sharing a Buddha quote: "What you think you become, what you feel you attract, what you imagine you create." She emphasizes how our thoughts become our words, which become our actions, which ultimately shape who we become.
- Our thoughts have direct impact on our future possibilities
- What we say to ourselves shapes what actions we take or don't take
- Daily actions and habits determine who we become over time
Lie #1: "I'm Failing at Life" (9:37)
The first major lie people tell themselves is that they're failing or falling behind in life compared to others.
- The Truth: You're not failing, you're finding your way
- Key Insight: "You're not actually playing against other people. You're playing with them." - Mel Robbins
- Success and achievement are in limitless supply - others' success doesn't diminish your possibilities
- Everything in life is preparing you for what comes next
Steven Bartlett on Experimentation (22:00)
Steven Bartlett shares his perspective on viewing life as a series of experiments rather than failures.
- "The world is only going to change faster and faster... which means the correct answer is going to change so quickly that you're not going to get it anywhere else other than conducting an experiment in your life" - Steven Bartlett
- Small experiments help build evidence about what works and what doesn't
- Each "failure" provides valuable data for future success
Lie #2: "I'm Not Motivated" (37:57)
Dr. Alok Kanojia (Dr. K) explains the science behind motivation and why feeling unmotivated is often a misunderstanding of how our brain works.
- Brain Chemistry:
- Wake up each morning with full dopamine reserves
- Early technology use depletes motivation quickly
- Timing of activities matters for motivation levels
- The Lemon Analogy:
- Motivation is like juice in a lemon
- Social media/technology gives a "hard squeeze"
- Better to preserve juice for important tasks
Managing Dopamine and Motivation (46:40)
Dr. K provides practical advice for managing motivation throughout the day.
- Key Strategy: Wait at least one hour after waking before using technology
- Direct morning motivation toward important tasks first
- Understanding this helps make behavior change easier
Lie #3: "I Can't Change" (55:27)
The final and most damaging lie people tell themselves is that they're incapable of change.
- The Truth:
- Humans are biologically designed to grow and change
- Change is possible at any time
- Small "baby dares" lead to transformation
- "Transformation is a process... take a little dare, a baby dare, recognizing that with each little dare, we look up and we have been transformed." - Sarah Jakes Roberts
Taking Action for Change (1:03:54)
Sarah Jakes Roberts provides practical guidance for implementing change:
- Start with small, manageable changes
- Communicate changes to those close to you
- Allow transformation to happen gradually
- Create space for who you are becoming
Conclusion
The episode emphasizes that personal transformation begins with recognizing and replacing limiting lies with empowering truths. By understanding how our thoughts shape our reality, managing our motivation effectively, and embracing our capacity for change, we can create meaningful transformation in our lives. The key is to start with small "baby dares" and consistently align our thoughts, words, and actions with who we want to become.