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June 19, 2024 • 2hr 40min
#747: Seth Godin and Dr. Sue Johnson
The Tim Ferriss Show
This episode is a "super combo" featuring highlights from two previous episodes of The Tim Ferriss Show - one with Seth Godin, the other with Dr. Sue Johnson.
#747: Seth Godin and Dr. Sue Johnson
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Key Takeaways
- Seth Godin has strict rules around speaking engagements to stay focused on his mission of making change happen, not just being a "TV personality"
- Navigating big life transitions requires being willing to try things that "might not work" and knowing when to pivot away from ideas that aren't serving you
- Seth's daily blog is a key practice that has resonated with his audience and allowed him to build a consistent body of work
- When discerning between good and bad ideas, it's important to understand if you're an entrepreneur building a business bigger than yourself, or a freelancer getting paid for your work
- Seth is proud of his failures, as they demonstrate his willingness to take risks in service of his mission
- Seth believes money is a story we tell ourselves, and it's important to focus on creating value rather than just accumulating wealth
- Seth is critical of the current education system, arguing it should do more to teach students how to think and solve interesting problems, not just memorize information
- Dr. Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) has a 73-86% success rate in studies with distressed couples, defined by improved marital satisfaction and attachment security
- EFT's "hold me tight" conversations help couples learn to be vulnerable, reach for each other, and create a secure emotional bond
- Johnson believes emotional isolation is highly detrimental, and that society should do more to support families and healthy relationships
Introduction
This episode is a "super combo" featuring highlights from two previous episodes of The Tim Ferriss Show - one with Seth Godin, the other with Dr. Sue Johnson.
Seth Godin is an entrepreneur, speaker, and author of 21 international bestsellers. The discussion covers his rules and principles around speaking engagements, navigating life transitions, his daily blogging practice, and his views on entrepreneurship versus freelancing.
Dr. Sue Johnson is a leading innovator in the fields of couples therapy and adult attachment. The conversation explores the peer-reviewed research supporting her Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) approach, the importance of creating secure emotional bonds in relationships, and her insights on topics like s*x, passion, and emotional intimacy.
Topics Discussed
Seth Godin: Rules for Speaking Engagements (9:05)
- Godin limits himself to no more than 30 speaking engagements per year, as they are not always "additive to the joy of my day"
- He is selective about speaking engagements, focusing on those that will help him "move things forward" and change the conversation, rather than just being a "TV personality"
- Godin believes speaking engagements are most powerful when he has a captive audience of high-powered people who are eager to hear his message and set aside their usual distractions
Navigating Life Transitions (13:53)
- Godin emphasizes the importance of being willing to try things that "might not work" when navigating transitions, rather than playing it safe
- He is proud of his failures, as they demonstrate his willingness to take risks in service of his mission
- Godin believes it's crucial to focus on creating value, not just accumulating wealth or status
Seth's Daily Blogging Practice (15:54)
- Godin's daily blog has been a key practice that has resonated with his audience and allowed him to build a consistent body of work
- He types directly into the blogging platform, associating the space with the mindset and focus required for effective writing
- Godin believes the daily practice is more important than perfecting individual blog posts
Entrepreneurship vs. Freelancing (24:27)
- Godin distinguishes between entrepreneurs building a business bigger than themselves, and freelancers getting paid for their work
- He emphasizes the importance of understanding which category you fall into, as it will shape the type of ideas and opportunities you should pursue
- Godin advises aspiring entrepreneurs to focus on selling something people want to buy, rather than trying to create a need
Dr. Sue Johnson: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) (41:03)
- EFT has a 73-86% success rate in studies with distressed couples, defined by improved marital satisfaction and attachment security
- EFT's "hold me tight" conversations help couples learn to be vulnerable, reach for each other, and create a secure emotional bond
- Johnson believes emotional isolation is highly detrimental, and that society should do more to support families and healthy relationships
Assessing Marital Satisfaction & Attachment (44:47)
- EFT uses validated scales like the Dyadic Adjustment Scale and Experiences in Close Relationships Scale to measure outcomes
- Johnson's team also conducted a brain imaging study showing changes in women's neural responses to threat cues after EFT
The "Hold Me Tight" Conversation (54:55)
- These conversations help couples learn to open up, share vulnerabilities, and respond to each other with empathy and comfort
- The goal is to help couples create a secure emotional bond and feel safe being vulnerable with each other
- Johnson believes these conversations are key to the lasting positive outcomes seen in EFT
Addressing Sexual Issues in Relationships (2:08:27)
- Johnson discusses how EFT can help couples overcome sexual problems by creating a foundation of emotional safety and responsiveness
- She notes that women often have a more complex relationship between physical arousal and psychological/emotional arousal compared to men
- The key is helping couples communicate openly about their needs and desires, and create an environment of trust and playfulness
Conclusion
This "super combo" episode provides a fascinating look into the perspectives and practices of two influential figures - Seth Godin, the marketing and entrepreneurship guru, and Dr. Sue Johnson, the pioneering couples therapist.
Godin's insights on speaking, transitions, blogging, and entrepreneurship offer valuable lessons for anyone looking to create meaningful work and have greater impact. Meanwhile, Johnson's discussion of Emotionally Focused Therapy sheds light on the critical importance of secure emotional bonds in relationships, and the specific tools couples can use to build that foundation.
Taken together, these two conversations highlight the power of focus, vulnerability, and a willingness to challenge conventional wisdom in order to achieve personal and relational fulfillment. The lessons shared are applicable not just to business and therapy, but to the broader pursuit of living a deeply connected and purposeful life.