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January 4, 2025 • 1hr 16min
#885 - Adam Grant - How To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure & Unlock Your Potential
Modern Wisdom
Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist, professor at the Wharton School, and bestselling author. In this wide-ranging conversation with Chris Williamson, they explore the psychology of success, motivation, handling uncertainty and failure, finding meaning, and maintaining perspective while pursuing ambitious goals.
#885 - Adam Grant - How To Overcome Your Fear Of Failure & Unlock Your Potential
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Key Takeaways
- Natural ability vs. opportunity: What look like differences in natural ability are often differences in opportunity and motivation
- Motivation development: Early teachers/coaches who make learning fun can spark lasting motivation that becomes self-reinforcing as skills improve
- Handling criticism: Filter feedback based on whether the person has your best interests at heart and credible knowledge of your domain
- Finding meaning: Meaning comes from knowing you matter and have value to add to others' lives
- Managing uncertainty: Use a compass rather than expecting a perfect map - focus on directionally correct next steps aligned with values
- Dealing with failure: Most people dramatically overestimate how much failure will sting and how long that sting will last
- Success and happiness: Have two targets - an aspiration (best case) and minimum acceptable outcome (good enough) to balance ambition with satisfaction
Introduction
Adam Grant is an organizational psychologist, professor at the Wharton School, and bestselling author. In this wide-ranging conversation with Chris Williamson, they explore the psychology of success, motivation, handling uncertainty and failure, finding meaning, and maintaining perspective while pursuing ambitious goals.
Topics Discussed
Natural Ability vs. Opportunity (00:07)
Grant challenges the common assumption that exceptional performers were simply "naturals" from the start. Research by Benjamin Bloom studying world-class athletes, musicians, scientists and artists found that:
- Early teachers/coaches often had no idea how great they would become
- What made them stand out wasn't natural ability but unusual passion
- Having early opportunities to get lots of practice was critical
"Sometimes we overestimate the importance of raw talent and we underestimate the importance of creating opportunities that open doors for people and then giving them a chance to actually showcase their enthusiasm," explains Grant.
The Development of Motivation (01:47)
Grant emphasizes how motivation often stems from early positive experiences with learning:
- Having teachers/coaches who make learning fun is crucial
- Motivation becomes self-reinforcing as skills improve
- It's hard to like something you're not good at
- As mastery builds, motivation naturally soars
Personal Story: Learning to Dive (03:15)
Grant shares his personal journey learning springboard diving despite lacking natural ability:
- Was nicknamed "Frankenstein" by first coach due to stiffness
- Coach saw potential despite physical limitations
- Regular feedback and improvement focus sparked motivation
- Eventually became All-American and Division 1 recruit
"None of it would've ever happened if Eric Best didn't look at me and say, 'Adam, you're not any good today, but I believe you can be much better tomorrow,'" reflects Grant.
Understanding and Fulfilling Potential (06:13)
The discussion explores how potential is not fixed but dynamic:
- Potential has a floor (current skill level) but ceiling is not set
- Ceiling depends on skill development, motivation, and opportunities
- Everyone has "hidden potential" they haven't yet recognized
- Need coaches who see potential and help realize better versions of ourselves
Handling Criticism and Feedback (08:09)
Grant discusses the importance of filtering feedback appropriately:
- Consider if critic has your best interests at heart
- Evaluate if they have credible knowledge of your domain
- Pre-commit to whose opinions really matter to you
- Seek input from those people specifically
Where Meaning Comes From (11:15)
Grant shares research on how people find meaning in their work:
- Meaning comes from knowing you matter to others
- Understanding your impact makes work meaningful
- Meeting beneficiaries of your work increases motivation
- Ask: "Who would be worse off if I weren't doing this?"
Managing Uncertainty (17:35)
The conversation explores strategies for dealing with uncertainty:
- Get in touch with your past self for perspective
- Use a compass rather than expecting a perfect map
- Ask if steps are directionally aligned with values
- Consider if choices make you more like people you admire
Dealing with Failure (23:47)
Research shows people typically overestimate failure's impact:
- Most dramatically overestimate how much failure will hurt
- Also overestimate how long the pain will last
- Default response to adversity is resilience, not trauma
- Psychological immune system helps us bounce back
Success and Happiness (49:35)
Grant discusses the paradox of maintaining high aspirations while finding satisfaction:
- Happiness = Reality minus Expectations
- Need two targets:
- Aspiration (best case scenario)
- Minimum acceptable outcome (good enough)
- Being between minimum acceptable and aspirational allows for both growth and satisfaction
Information Management in Modern World (59:02)
The discussion explores challenges of information overload:
- Moved from information scarcity to permanent abundance
- Need strong filters more than absorption capacity
- Success now comes from connecting dots, not collecting them
- Critical ignoring becoming crucial skill
Finding Satisfaction in Work (1:05:36)
Grant addresses common struggles with feeling satisfied:
- Knowledge work makes it hard to know when "enough is enough"
- Status pursuit can become endless treadmill
- Need relationships that value character over achievement
- Important to explicitly discuss values beyond achievement
Conclusion
This wide-ranging conversation offers valuable insights into the psychology of success, motivation, and fulfillment. Key themes include:
- The importance of early opportunities and encouragement in developing talent
- The need to balance high aspirations with realistic expectations
- The value of relationships that ground us in what truly matters
- The crucial role of meaning and impact in sustaining motivation
- The importance of developing strong filters in an information-rich world
Grant's research-backed insights combined with personal examples provide practical wisdom for anyone seeking to achieve their potential while maintaining perspective and satisfaction along the way.