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October 13, 2024 • 1hr 56min
Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking)
Lenny's Podcast: Product | Growth | Career
In this episode, Lenny interviews Tristan de Montebello, co-creator of Ultraspeaking, about how to rapidly improve public speaking and communication skills. Tristan shares insights from his journey of becoming the fastest person to reach the finals of the World Championship of Public Speaking in just 7 months.
The conversation covers misconceptions about public speaking, tactical tips for improvement, and several interactive exercises and games that listeners can try. Tristan also explains two of his key methodologies - the Accordion Method and the Bow and Arrow Technique - for preparing impactful presentations.
Why most public speaking advice is wrong—and how to finally overcome your speaking anxiety | Tristan de Montebello (CEO & co-founder of Ultraspeaking)
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Key Takeaways
- Public speaking is a meta-skill that can transform many aspects of your life, not just your ability to give presentations
- Enjoyment is a barometer for effective speaking - if you're not enjoying it, you're likely doing something wrong
- Speaking is a subconscious, flow-oriented process, not a conscious one. The goal is to get into and stay in a flow state
- Three tactical tips for better public speaking:
- Look up when thinking instead of down to appear more confident
- End strong and avoid tapering off or expressing doubts at the end
- Stay in character and avoid "leaking" insecurities
- Games and exercises are an effective way to practice speaking skills in a low-stakes environment
- The "Accordion Method" is a powerful technique for preparing talks without memorization by repeatedly compressing and expanding content
- The "Bow and Arrow Technique" focuses on identifying the one key message you want the audience to remember
Introduction
In this episode, Lenny interviews Tristan de Montebello, co-creator of Ultraspeaking, about how to rapidly improve public speaking and communication skills. Tristan shares insights from his journey of becoming the fastest person to reach the finals of the World Championship of Public Speaking in just 7 months.
The conversation covers misconceptions about public speaking, tactical tips for improvement, and several interactive exercises and games that listeners can try. Tristan also explains two of his key methodologies - the Accordion Method and the Bow and Arrow Technique - for preparing impactful presentations.
Topics Discussed
Misconceptions About Public Speaking (5:35)
Tristan argues that people grossly underestimate how transformative improving public speaking skills can be. He explains that speaking is not just a specialized skill, but a meta-skill that can positively impact many areas of life:
- How you feel at work
- How you interact with friends and family
- Your confidence in group settings
He uses the analogy of fitness as another meta-skill - improving your fitness doesn't just make you stronger, it boosts your energy, mood, and confidence in other areas.
Tristan emphasizes that humans are naturally evolved for speaking, comparing it to how babies learn language without formal education. He suggests that over time we develop "bugs" in our speaking "software" that need to be fixed:
"We all have this incredible hardware. The thing is, over the course of our life, because of all these little situations that happen, we start getting bugs in the software and we're not really upgrading our software."Enjoyment as a Barometer for Effective Speaking (8:56)
A core insight Tristan shares is that if you don't enjoy speaking, you're likely doing it wrong. He views enjoyment as a barometer for effective communication:
- Speaking should feel natural and rewarding
- If it's not enjoyable, you're probably overthinking or doing something unnatural
- The goal is to feel like yourself, as you do when talking to close friends/family
He notes that in business settings, people often try to speak differently than they normally would, leading to overthinking and anxiety. The key is to relax and try to feel more like yourself.
Tactical Tips for Public Speaking (15:30)
Tristan shares three practical tips to immediately improve public speaking:
1. Look up when thinking instead of down
- Looking down appears uncertain and unconfident
- Looking up makes you appear thoughtful
- Write "think up" on a post-it note as a reminder
2. End strong
- Avoid tapering off or expressing doubts at the end
- Use summary prompts like "So to wrap up..." to cue your brain
- The ending leaves the strongest impression
3. Stay in character
- Avoid "leaking" insecurities or apologizing for mistakes
- Put your best foot forward consistently
- Most people can't tell when you feel uncertain
The Importance of Practice and Games (29:15)
Tristan emphasizes that you can't improve speaking without actually speaking. He advocates for using games and exercises to practice in a low-stakes environment:
- Games make practice fun and intrinsically rewarding
- Short, deliberate practice with immediate feedback is most effective
- Games create "turbulence" to highlight areas for improvement
He compares the games to a flight simulator for pilots - you want to practice handling difficult scenarios before encountering them in real life.
Game 1: The Conductor (Accessing different emotional states) (34:50)
Tristan and Lenny demonstrate the "Conductor" game, which involves speaking on a random topic while adjusting your energy level based on numbers that appear on screen. Key points:
- Helps practice quickly shifting between emotional states
- Reveals your natural strengths/weaknesses at different energy levels
- Demonstrates how energy/emotion impacts the content you access
Lenny notes two key takeaways from playing this game:
- Different energy levels access different "file folders" of thoughts/memories
- Practicing difficult things with low stakes builds confidence
Mindset Shift: Playing the Game (45:54)
Tristan emphasizes the importance of fully committing to "playing the game" rather than worrying about performance. He encourages viewing the exercises as creating helpful turbulence to highlight areas for improvement.
Lenny shares his struggle with wanting to critique his own performance, but recognizes the value in resisting that urge and staying in character.
Game 2: Triple Step (Staying focused amid distractions) (51:07)
The "Triple Step" game involves speaking on a topic while seamlessly integrating random words that appear on screen. Key points:
- Builds resilience and ability to stay on track despite distractions
- Helps practice recovering gracefully from unexpected challenges
- Can be used as a warm-up exercise before important talks
Tristan explains that the goal is to be like a tree in a storm - firmly grounded but flexible enough to bend without breaking.
Quieting the Noise (1:07:51)
Tristan and Lenny discuss the challenge of quieting self-critical thoughts during speaking. Key points:
- With practice, the "noise" of insecurity becomes almost imperceptible
- Develop gentle "listeners" to notice areas for improvement without disrupting flow
- Getting positive feedback helps reinforce confidence over time
Game 3: Conviction Prompts (Building executive presence) (1:09:46)
The final game demonstrated involves speaking on a topic while integrating sentence prompts designed to increase conviction. Key points:
- Helps practice bringing more conviction and executive presence to speaking
- Demonstrates how changing your state impacts the content you access
- Encourages thinking out loud and making new connections in real-time
Tristan emphasizes that this exercise is about matching strong communication skills with genuine ideas and knowledge.
The Accordion Method Explained (1:17:27)
Tristan introduces the Accordion Method as a revolutionary approach to preparing talks:
- Start with a 3-minute version of your talk
- Repeatedly compress the talk (3 min > 2 min > 1 min > 30 sec)
- Then expand back out (30 sec > 1 min > 2 min > 3 min)
- This process distills the key points and internalizes the content
Key benefits of this method:
- Avoids the need for memorization
- Creates a talk that is internalized rather than scripted
- Allows for flexibility in delivery time
- Helps identify and focus on the most essential points
The Bow and Arrow Technique (1:37:57)
Tristan explains the Bow and Arrow Technique for crafting impactful presentations:
- Focus on what you want the audience to remember, not just what you want to say
- Identify one key "arrow" - a single sentence takeaway
- Use supporting points (the "bow") to give weight to your main message
- Apply this technique to both overall talks and individual slides
He emphasizes that most people only remember one thing from a talk, so it's crucial to be intentional about what that one thing is.
Conclusion
Final Thoughts and Encouragement (1:43:43)
Tristan concludes by reiterating how transformational tackling public speaking can be:
"The more constrained you feel with your speaking, the more transformational it will be to your life... It's much, much, much more enjoyable than you think it will be. It can actually be exhilarating and energizing, and you feel like you can take over the world once you're on this journey."He encourages listeners to take the first step and start practicing, emphasizing that the process is far more rewarding than most people expect.
Lightning Round (1:44:55)
In a quick-fire Q&A, Tristan shares:
- Book recommendation: "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks
- Favorite TV show: Peaky Blinders
- Recent product discovery: Ember temperature-controlled mug
- Life motto: "These are the good old days"
He also shares a dramatic story from his journey to the World Championship of Public Speaking finals, highlighting the intense preparation and last-minute changes that led to his success.
The episode concludes with information on where listeners can learn more about Ultraspeaking and how they can apply the techniques discussed.
